Celebrating birthdays is not allowed
The evidence in the Qur’aan and Sunnah indicates that celebrating birthdays is a kind of bid’ah or innovation in religion, which has no basis in the pure sharee’ah. It is not permitted to accept invitations to birthday celebrations, because this involves supporting and encouraging bid’ah. Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Or have they partners with Allaah (false gods) who have instituted for them a religion which Allaah has not allowed…?” [al-Shoora 42:21]
“Then We have put you (O Muhammad) on a plain way of (Our) commandment. So follow that, and follow not the desires of those who know not. Verily, they can avail you nothing against Allaah (if He wants to puish you). Verily, the zaalimoon (wrongdoers) are awliyaa’ (protectors, helpers, etc.) to one another, but Allaah is the Wali (Protector, Helper) of the muttaqoon (pious).” [al-Jaathiyah 45:18-19]
“Follow what has been sent down unto you from your Lord, and follow not any awliyaa’ (protectors, helpers, etc.) besides Him. Little do you remember!” [al-A’raaf 7:3]
According to saheeh reports, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever does something that is a not part of this matter of ours (i.e., Islam) will have it rejected” (reported by Muslim in his Saheeh); and “The best of speech is the Book of Allaah and the best of guidance is the guidance of Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The most evil of things are those which have been newly invented (in religion), and every innovation is a going astray.” There are many other ahaadeeth that convey the same meaning.
Besides being bid’ah and having no basis in sharee’ah, these birthday celebrations also involve imitation of the Jews and Christians in their birthday celebrations. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, warning us against following their ways and traditions: “You would follow the ways of those who came before you step by step, to such an extent that if they were to enter a lizard’s hole, you would enter it too.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, (do you mean) the Jews and Christians?” He said, “Who else?” (Reported by al-Bukhaari and Muslim). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also said: “Whoever imitates a people is one of them.”
Fataawa Islamiyyah, 1/115
Attending a feast for a child’s birthday and eating that food
Praise be to Allaah.
Celebrating birthdays is an innovation in the religion of Allaah, and it is not permissible to do this. It is not permissible to eat the food that has been prepared for this occasion. Their claim that the food for the birthday celebration is for the guests does not make it excusable to eat it. Hospitality is subject to its own rulings, and matters are judged according to the intentions behind them.
It is very clear that the food is being prepared for this innovated occasion, and eating this food is one of the things that helps them to persist in doing this. It is a kind of co-operation in sin and transgression. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Help you one another in Al Birr and At Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety); but do not help one another in sin and transgression” [al-Maa’idah 5:2]
Shaykh ‘Abd al-Kareem al-Khudayr
Her mother wants to give her a birthday party – what should she do?
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
With regard to this observance which people call “birthdays” (eid milaad in Arabic), Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) issued the following fatwa:
“Everything which is taken as an ‘eid’ (something which is celebrated regularly) and is repeated each week or each year and is not prescribed in sharee’ah, is a kind of bid’ah (reprehensible innovation). The evidence for that is the fact that the Lawgiver prescribed ‘aqeeqah for the newborn, and did not prescribe anything after that. When they adopt these observances every week or every year, it means that they are making them like the Islamic Eids, which is haraam and is not permitted. There are no celebrations in Islam apart from the three prescribed Eids: ‘Eid al-Fitr, ‘Eid al-Adha, and the weekly ‘Eid’ which is Friday (Yawm al-Jumu’ah).
This does not come under the heading of customs because it is repeated. Hence when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came to Madeenah and found that the Ansaar had two festivals which they used to celebrate, he said, ‘Allaah has given you something better than these: Eid al-Adha and Eid al-Fitr.’ (Narrated by al-Nasaa’i, 1556; Abu Dawood, 1134; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Silsilat al-Ahaadeeth al-Saheehah, no. 124), even though this was one of their customs.”
Secondly:
With regard to how you should deal with your mother, I think that you should be frank with her, and tell her that this action is not permitted by Allaah, and that the religion of Islam forbids this, and that as this is the case you cannot come to this party. Tell her. “Were it not for the fact that Allaah does not allow it, I would have been happy to come, and I thank you, but it is not up to me or anyone else, it is up to Allaah Who issues His decree and we – the Muslims – have to submit to His will; it is not permissible for us to dispute that so long as it is the command of Allaah, the All-Knowing, Most Wise.”
Tell her all of that in the best possible manner and in the kindest way. If she is convinced and appreciates that, then praise be to Allaah, otherwise try to be outside the house at the time of this party, so that no one will pressure you to join in and so that you yourself will not weaken and given in. There is no sin on you for what your mother is doing, and pleasing Allaah comes before pleasing any of His creation. Be certain that if your mother objects vehemently to this matter today, perhaps Allaah will make her pleased with you in the future, in sha Allaah.